Now for the tough stuff

I wrote once today.. my first blog.. and a life changing thing happened soon after i wrote it.

I am living the single life.. again.

It's been 4 months and i'm back. I really didn't think i'd be back this soon.. but you know.. stuff happens i guess.

He had been distant from me for awhile.. but when i saw him in person..  i felt like everything was okay.

This is really hard for me. I love this boy. I love this boy with all my heart.. and i'm starting to wonder if he.. loved me or not.

Before me, he had feelings for another girl. A beautiful girl. A talented girl. She is one of those girls who does everything. She broke his heart.. and even to this day.. i don't know if he ever really got over her.

I have ALWAYS felt.. like i can't compare to her. She's perfect.. and i am not. They have been friend's for YEARS. And yet anytime he would talk to her, or even hang out with her.. i would feel... bad.

He needs to work out personal issues he has.. and i totally understand that. It doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt.

This is kinda a first breakup for me. I've been in one other relationship before.. but when HE broke up with me.. it didn't hurt the way this one does.

This boy is my best friend.. he has been through SO much with me... and now it's over.. i look back on our relationship.. and think about how great it was..  and how much i'm going to miss being his girlfriend. He treated me better than.. well anyone else i know.

So in a nutshell.. my heart is broken.  I'm going to get over it.. just not tonight.